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I Want to Die but I Still Want to Eat Tteokbokki

further conversations with my psychiatrist

Audiobook
1 of 1 copy available
1 of 1 copy available
_______________
THE PHENOMENAL KOREAN BESTSELLER
TRANSLATED BY INTERNATIONAL BOOKER SHORTLISTEE ANTON HUR

'Will strike a chord with anyone who feels that their public life is at odds with how they really feel inside.' - Red

PSYCHIATRIST: So how can I help you?

ME: I don't know, I'm – what's the word – depressed? Do I have to go into detail?
Baek Sehee is a successful young social media director at a publishing house when she begins seeing a psychiatrist about her – what to call it? – depression? She feels persistently low, anxious, endlessly self-doubting, but also highly judgemental of others. She hides her feelings well at work and with friends; adept at performing the calmness, even ease, her lifestyle demands. The effort is exhausting, overwhelming, and keeps her from forming deep relationships. This can't be normal.
But if she's so hopeless, why can she always summon a desire for her favourite street food, the hot, spicy rice cake, tteokbokki? Is this just what life is like?
Recording her dialogues with her psychiatrist over a 12-week period, Baek begins to disentangle the feedback loops, knee-jerk reactions and harmful behaviours that keep her locked in a cycle of self-abuse. Part memoir, part self-help book, I Want to Die but I Want to Eat Tteokbokki is a book to keep close and to reach for in times of darkness.
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    • Publisher's Weekly

      June 24, 2024
      In this frank sequel to I Want to Die but I Want to Eat Tteokbokki, Sehee continues to document her treatment for depression and anxiety. Organized into 14 essays, each themed after one of Sehee’s insecurities and framed by recorded conversations between the author and her psychiatrist, this memoir digs deeper than its predecessor, thanks in part to Sehee’s realization, after reading Roxane Gay’s Hunger, that she “had never been honest with myself, even as I’d baldly declared how revealing my darkness to the light was the way to become free.” In plain prose (Hur’s translation can border on dull), Sehee recounts obsessing over casual comments made by colleagues and friends, her debilitating fear of death, and her occasional self-harm. In the candid back-and-forths with her therapist, Sehee comes to realize she “lets others too much into myself,” and resolves to trust her own voice. As with the previous book, the dialogues oscillate between arresting and numbing, with some conversations robbed of their potential power by the limits of the format. Still, Sehee’s admirable commitment to showing her “deepest inner wounds” will resonate with readers struggling to unpack their own mental health issues.

    • AudioFile Magazine
      Jully Lee reads the Korean author's second memoir in which she explores her disturbed psyche. Lee presents the moods of a sometimes-despairing young businesswoman who questions her choices, actions, and past and present feelings--both alone and with the help of a thoughtful psychiatrist. Lee reveals the strong relationship between Sehee and her psychiatrist as she examines wide-ranging topics, such as body image, work stress, and using self-harm as a solution to emotional pain. Lee's ability to portray the author's vulnerability allows listeners to sink into Sehee's candid, raw feelings. All of this gives rise to awareness and reflection that allow the author to examine her psychology and philosophy of life and to find paths to healing. S.W. © AudioFile 2024, Portland, Maine

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